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10 hours ago | 117 notes

Consider this a job posting.

hotel-job:

Man with obscure accent wearing sunglasses approaches desk.

GUEST: Hello. I want a young girl to take me on tour.
CONCIERGE: You’d like to book a tour guide?
GUEST: No, no. Just a young girl to be with me while I go around the city.
CONCIERGE: Just someone to, um, escort you, so to speak?
GUEST:…

Via how may we hate you?
3 days ago | 2,888 notes

mostlycatsmostly:

Hippity, Hoppity, Humbug… (by Flat Coat Whimsy)

Via Bookoisseur
3 days ago | 13,158 notes
phobs-heh:

cyndicyanide:

So a friend had this image of Joffrey as her Facebook ‘timeline’ cover and it turned into some sort of caption contest. This by far was the winner.

#over-emotional diva-joffrey

phobs-heh:

cyndicyanide:

So a friend had this image of Joffrey as her Facebook ‘timeline’ cover and it turned into some sort of caption contest. This by far was the winner.

#over-emotional diva-joffrey

Via (hold me.thrill me.kiss me.kill me.)
3 days ago | 8,279 notes

Let me introduce you to Benedict Cumberbunny. 

Let me introduce you to Benedict Cumberbunny. 

(Source: 221cumberbatches)

Via Calm. Authoritative. R-r-relaxed.
3 days ago | 3,724 notes
barachiki:

"Of course I found all the eggs. I am a detective…. Why are those children crying?"

barachiki:

"Of course I found all the eggs. I am a detective…. Why are those children crying?"

Via Calm. Authoritative. R-r-relaxed.
5 days ago | 149 notes

I’ll give her the benefit of jet lag.

hotel-job:

BRITISH GUEST: My credit card has been turned off for security purposes. Please help me ring my credit card company.
(Concierge picks up phone and helps dial. While the concierge does this, the guest picks up another phone nearby.)
BRITISH GUEST: I can’t hear them!
CONCIERGE: Right, because I’m calling them on my line.
BRITISH GUEST: No tone!
CONCIERGE: I’m calling them on my phone. That’s a different line.
BRITISH GUEST: Someone picked up! Hello? Hello? Operator? No! I’m trying to ring my bank!
CONCIERGE: Please hang up that phone. I’m calling them on this one.
BRITISH GUEST: (to phone) Yes? Hello? I need to ring my bank. The concierge can’t do it.
CONCIERGE: Ma’am, your bank is on the phone here Hang that one up.
BRITISH GUEST: (to phone) Let me get the number.
(Concierge takes phone from her and hangs it up. Hands her his phone.)
CONCIERGE: This is your bank. Type in your credit card number.
BRITISH GUEST: (to phone) Hello? Is there an operator?
CONCIERGE: It’s automated. Type it in.
BRITISH GUEST: Type what? On your keyboard?

Via how may we hate you?
1 week ago | 32,177 notes

The strangler is a rare poison, which makes the person unable to breathe. The poison is made from plants that are only found on islands in the Jade Sea. The leaves of the plant are picked and aged, then soaked in a wash of limes, sugar water and rare spices from the Summer Islands. The leaves are then discarded, but the liquid is kept and thickened with ash and allowed to crystallize. It turns a deep purple color.

(Source: daeneryus)

Via Little Corner of the Infinite Interwebs